I was 20 years old when I found out I had a baby brother. I was so excited, but life kept us states…
I was 20 years old when I found out I had a baby brother. I was so excited, but life kept us states apart, so I didn't get to see you as often as I wanted. When I did, you were my little buddy. We read books, sang songs, watched Blue's Clues, and made memories I'll carry forever. Life moved on, and we went our separate ways. The next time our lives truly came together, you were 20 years old—the same age I had been when I first learned you existed. You came to live with us for a while, and during that time we became incredibly close. We laughed until we cried, shared our deepest fears, and understood each other in a way that's hard to describe. Then everything changed. We didn't know schizophrenia was taking hold of your life. I knew something was wrong, but I couldn't understand it. I reached for you, but you pushed me away, and eventually our paths separated. After Dad passed away, I reached out again. I sent you some wine, and somehow we found each other again. Our conversations were beautiful, and I was so grateful to have my brother back. Then life happened again. A single-car accident took you from us. The autopsy showed no drugs and no alcohol. We'll probably never know what happened, and that's one of the hardest parts. After you died, I looked back at our messages. In my heart, they felt recent. I thought, We just talked. Then I saw the date. 2021. Five years had quietly slipped away. A few days after you passed, I was standing at the kitchen sink washing dishes when I saw you out of the corner of my eye, standing there with your arms folded in your familiar, protective stance. The moment was gone almost instantly, but I knew you were with me. Since that day, I've felt your presence, and that has brought me comfort. Little brother, I wish we'd had more time. I wish you had known how deeply you were loved. Even when life pulled us apart, you never stopped being one of the most cherished people in my life. I miss your laugh. I miss our conversations. I miss you. I love you, always. Until we meet again.
